December 25, 2017

January 2018: I am what I am.

By Loudon dodd - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, Link
Going by conventional wisdom, the beginning of a New Year in January is a good time put the past behind you and look forward to creating a new future. Resolutions and commitments are made, all in the spirit of putting the dead year into the grave and helping the new year out of the cradle. Lose weight, eat right, chase your dreams, get fit, write that book, but above all, turn away from the sad, unsuccessful part of yourself and turn toward the shiny, new is-to-be.

I get it. I really do understand where this comes from. There's power in numbers and a change in the big numbers that matter is as good excuse as any to summon the motivation to grab life by the pussy, or the cock, or whatever it is you want to grab when you're feeling hungry, and make shit happen.

But what I don't get is the frequent attitude of killing the past in order to make room for the future. There are a lot of little pieces of wisdom that I use to live my life. One of them comes from Popeye who said, "I am what I am and that's all that I am." January for me isn't a time to discard the past in order to make room for the future, but a time to remember that in the immortal words of Popeye, for better and for worse, I am what I am.

I think January is a cold, dark month best suited to honest contemplation. Got a demon in your closet? Good for you, we've all got demons in our closets. I'm not saying that you need to drag this demon out for dinner with the family, but I am saying that you had better at least be sitting down to a weekly lunch with that demon. If you don't feed your demon, it'll get hungry and feed on you.

Take time to sit in the dark with your demon and learn to make friends with it. If you do this, then you'll become like the eponymous Janus and be able to look both backward and forward, both inward and outward, both in the dark and in the light.

I am what I am and that's all that I am, and that includes the demon in my closet.

Are you who you are?

Don't kill the wizened demons of your past to make room for the innocent angels of your future.

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